The Way I See It

I've completely restructured how my classes will operate, and it's terrifying. Rather than having the flow of classwork all determined by me, I'm taking a much more student-centered approach. Of course, a month ago I would have said the same about my old plan... but now that I've remodeled, I can see just how wrong I was. Two days of writing workshops where at any given moment, every student will be working on something different in genre, focus, everything. One day of reading workshop where every student is reading independently. And two days of class reading where we all read the same piece together. Granted, I provide structure - or else we would have mass chaos, now wouldn't we. But, it seems that the more control and responsibility I give to the students, the more I have to plan and organize for every single possibility.

My biggest concern - how do I provide grades - give numerical significance - to a type of teaching - the way my workshops are set up - that goes against the whole concept of grades? When it comes to the writing workshops, this is my Waterloo. How can you create a uniform structure to numerically assess students who are all doing their own things, have their own goals, etc? Thank God for Nancy Atwell. Can you believe that up until a few weeks ago, I'd left that gem in the original plasticwrap for like 3 years?

But... it's all slowly working out.

Hey, how do you like my classroom? Doesn't it kick a little tushie?! :) I love how the desks are arranged - really works well for me. I can walk among the students while I'm doing a mini lesson or conferencing. I'm such a dork - I even did the whole thing to scale! lol How pathetic am I?! In case you're curious, the bars with diamond studs are chalkboards or message boards, and the bars with ball studs are windows. I don't actually have any bookshelves though... or all of my desks. I do however have two monstrous contraptions, one of which needs to be burned immediately as it is unusable. I need to hunt me down a custodian and get this stuff all worked out.

Oh, btw - I finally got my Praxis results back (for teaching Middle School English) 195/200 - same as my Secondary English results - woo hoo! I hope BHS reemburses me for that thing, since they required me to take it in the first place.

On to Aaron. We're getting ready to drive to Oklahoma City for the 28-29th of this month... and I've bought the Amtrak tickets for us to head to Chicago for Aug. 3-4. The Chicago trip will be interesting... From Jeff to La Plata to Chicago to La Plata to Kirksville to GRADUATION! to Jeff to GRADUATION PARTY! All in a 4 day span! More interestingly... After I get settled from graduation, I have 3 days before my new teacher orientation for school - and then only 6 days until students arrive!!! :S I really REALLY hope that one of these jobs works out for Aaron, particularly the Chicago job, for Aaron. I want him to have a job that he enjoys. He deserves that. From what we can tell now, this one would be a good move for him.

One (big one) down, two to go

Aaron never got the chance to fly out to Worchester for that interview... the headhunters screwed around and weren't able to fly him out there in time. The job went to somebody closer who was able to get in for an interview in time. I'm surprised that I'm not relieved; at least I know that Aaron won't be moving way out there. He should have at least had the chance to interview for the job. Instead, he got screwed out of everything, even the interview. He still has prospects in Chicago and Oklahoma City... so we'll see. But none of these newer jobs are what Aaron really wants to do, not like the job in MA. I guess we'll just have to see what comes around.

Student as teacher, teacher as student

Since my master's work is complete, I'm concentrating now on preparing for my first teaching job. It's a strange feeling, being the Teacher. I've only ever been the Student. Everytime I stare at the computer and try to plan out the first days or weeks or months, my mind goes blank. It's terrifying that so much depends on lil' ol' me. I know that I've complained about this before... guess it just goes to show that it's an ongoing worry for me. I want so badly to have a great classroom, to be a great teacher. But there are so many facets and details! But, I've found that when I get too panicky, the best thing to do is engulf myself in the wise words of some teaching greats... Atwell, Burke, Beach and Marshall... They help me get back into the right frame of mind, map out my classroom philosophies and sometimes even give me concrete ideas to use. But, I can only handle so much teachery stuff per day. On to Oprah.

TGIF

As of 8 o'clock this beautiful Friday morning, I am finished with the stupid digital portfolio and research component, AND as such, should have smooth sailing and relatively nothing to do from here until graduation.

This comes as an especial delight as I spend this entire past Wednesday in Kirksville working on it. Let me illuminate. I left home at 7 a.m. Arrived on campus at 9. Went to work immediately in the library, meeting up with my advisor around 9:45. During the next TEN hours, my advisor keeps me working. Around 4 she informs me that although she could sign off on my portfolio, she thinks I can do better. Now, honestly, I don't give a rat's behind. I just want to get the whole worthless mess out of my hair and get back home in time for dinner. Which, since it's a two hour drive, would mean I'd have to have left then. I talked to some of the other MAE people up there and found it amazing that their (different) advisors aren't nearly so picky and anal like mine. Their advisors don't obsess about one word on a title page that they don't think is just right. (She wouldn't even believe her bible, the 2005 MLA handbook, so I had to redo everything for her exacting standards.) I apparently got the advisor who actually thinks that this portfolio is meaningful and expects me to feel similarly. She wants perfection. I want good enough. So after working for ten hours, the only reason we quit working was because the lab was closing and they kicked us out. Luckily, I was pretty much finished at that point, and all I needed to do was go home, burn a couple of CDs and print out a copy of the research paper. So as of now, it is OUT OF MY HAIR and is the postal service's problem. I hope I never hear another word about the whole stinking mess.