Decisions, Made and Otherwise

Two weeks ago Aaron and I went to OK City and this past week we went to Chicago - each for interviews. While in Chicago - during the interview, actually - the people from OK City left Aaron a voice msg offering him the job. He plans on accepting that offer tomorrow. Although we're not sure how quickly they'll want him to start, he will most likely be 7 hours away from me by the end of the month. Aaron is excited about the new job - he'll be working with a human fertility clinic doing much of the same stuff as he is at his current job at MU. One perk, his favorite, is that he will have patient interaction as he gets to explain to future parents what his role in the process will be. I will stay here in Missouri, teaching at Blair Oaks, for at least this fall semester, if not the entire school year. I don't really know what I'll do. I'm giving up an ideal teaching position, and I'm not too happy about that. We'll see how well I can hold out - Aaron or my job. But I at least know that I'll teach my class; I refuse to give it up entirely. I also don't know where I'll live for that period while I'm here in MO. We can't afford to pay his rent in OKC ~and~ the $410 for our apt. here in Jeff City. I don't need these 2-bedrooms all to myself anyway. I'm running through my very limited list of options, and not very comfortable with any of them. If I stay with Mum, there is very limited space. If I stay with friends, I am an unwanted imposition. If I stay with... oh wait, there aren't really any other viable options.


How will I live without Aaron for 4.5-9 months? This blog can't do that issue justice... and if it could, it would only make me that much more miserable. When we mention to people that we'll be living apart for so long, they express concern about how it's hard on relationships. Frankly, that irritates me. Oh, I know they mean well - and it is true, I know. But I honestly am not worried about Aaron's and my relationship. It is too strong to be broken by 7 hours and and 4.5-9 months. When I think about if our love with weather this "crisis", I feel a sense of calm, not anxiety. We will make it through this.

However, when I think about HOW we will weather this crisis, I do feel anxiety... dread... panic. At the end of those 4.5 or 9 months, we will be fine. But for that time in between? I will be a mess. Only rather comforting fact is that I know Aaron will be in the same state... if not the same State.

It has not yet sunk in that by Labor Day, my life will be turned upside down. Little will be the same after this month.