Reading the End of the Book

Love it or hate it, I am one of those people who always reads the end of the book first. Apply this concept to movies - if somebody has already seen it, I'll be begging them to tell me how it ended. My logic runs thus: if there is a happy ending, I am free to emotionally attach myself to the characters; if there is not a happy ending, however, I at least am prepared to steel away my heart. I need time to prepare myself for bad endings, to give myself time to adjust and come to terms with everything.

As you can imagine, I do not like waiting to hear back from the I-SATE position. I mailed a follow up letter immediately after the interview and just a few seconds ago called to confirm it's delivery. Well yeah, ok.. so my real reason was to see if I'd gotten the job or not, but I needed an excuse to call. When I called, however, I got no usable information. The assistant to the director, who was on my interview board, was quite personable and friendly, thanked me for the follow up letter and said that they really appreciated it, etc. All I'm really thinking at this point is, "blah blah, get to the point, blah blah..." She never got to the point. She told me that, basically, everything was now in the hands of the Human Resources department for background checks, etc. and that she wasn't sure if they would contact me if I didn't get the job, but that she was sure that if I did, they'd get hold of my by next week sometime.

Seriously, how am I supposed to interpret that?! I mean, would they really have HR go through affirmative action and background checks for all five candidates? I'd like to think not, which would be good. But then, why would she say if I didn't get the job...? In case I didn't pass the background check? And, if all of that points in my favor, why wouldn't she just come out and say it?!?! That's what makes me really doubt myself and feel like I'm no closer than before.

Why can't I just read the last chapter and save myself from all this stress? I demand a new publisher!!