气韵生动: The Way

I was tense; I am relaxed. Ladies and gentlemen, my moment of Zen:

Too cute... I don't know how she puts up with herself

I know the lighting's terrible... but O-ren makes such a great parrot... makes me wish I had my eye patch from work.

And this is O-ren as of this second while I sit here at the computer, blogging about her, writing emails, singing along with The Who, and chatting with Gody. Periodically, I'm compelled to wake her up by burying my face in her tummy. ... Her current occupation, though, makes me think... a bath sounds like a really good idea.

Pretty Little Horses

I miss my babies... singing lullabies and and being one of the few loving constants in their screwed up lives. I miss my babies...

Way down yonder
in the meadow
poor little baby cries mama
birds and butterflies
peckin' out his eyes
poor little baby cries mama
Hush-a-bye
don't you cry
go to sleep my little baby
when you wake
you shall have
all the pretty little horses

Signs of Insanity

Sign of Insanity #1,984:
A Person shall be declared Insane if (s)he experiences nonstop full-body laughter for no less than 20 minutes.
Symptoms: Uncontrollable giggling, guffawing, chortling, tee hee'ing, and snorting. Apparent lack of skeletal system or muscular control. Impersonations of a human mop and inch worm.
Stipulations: Not induced by caffeine, sugar, drugs, alcohol, or apparently anything at all.
Governance: Husband shall watch Insane Person bemusedly and periodically poke Insane Person in the sides in order to observe resultant sounds and behaviors. Husband shall occasionally and without warning toss Insane Person around like a chef salad.

Updates

Facts... what are those again? Sorry to those of you who read my blog to keep up with the goings on of e. And although I would rather write a self-analysis on why a compliment can outrage me or how "Wir Haben's Getan" by Echt and "Fields of Gold" by Sting (omg, heard this song at lunch today and got sucked back in time so quickly that my head was spinning) will always represent certain periods in my life, but I'll try to stick to a straight laundry list of what's new with my life. But seriously, people. Email; call; IM. You don't always have to wait for me!

So let's see...
Still no offers on the house. The frequency with which I joke about burning it down and collecting the insurance is increasing. Can't really lower the price any without taking a loss. Taking a loss is sounding less and less like a bad idea.

Aaron's no longer washing windows and is currently working for a small DNA-analysis company in downtown Memphis. Read his thoughts on that here. He's thrilled to be away from the boss who cheated his customers and employees and to finally be back in a science setting. Meanwhile, he has an offer for a chemist position - second shift with better pay and benefits. He plans to accept this but first has to go through the drug screening which is proving a challenge since the clinic hours are only when he's working. He has a completely different interview tomorrow, *shrug*, so we'll see how that goes. But any of these three positions are not what he's really wanting. His heart is in embryology, and he's still following up on leads in that field. (Latest lead in CA)

I know my family wants updates on Earl... to which I reply that my blog will not be the means to that information. Either check his blog or call him. But just remember that some families are just naturally more private, k? (Foreign concept, I know, lol) And yes, Sis, I promise that if there is any major news, I will let you know! :)

Speaking of which, SOMEBODY in my family reading this needs to call my butt and tell me what is going on with OUR family drama!!! Oh yes, I'm talking to you and giving you an evil eye to boot. You KNOW I hate being isolated down here and completely out of the loop.

As to my job... (hey, guys *wave* lol) A while back half of my team was let go. The nature of the contractual beast, etc. etc. We're a close-knit group, and this loss was especially hard for us. Especially since then, I've been developing an unhealthy affection/dependency on our Monday evening outings and anytime we can get out of the office for lunch. SO my coworkers rock, and I'm keeping busy. Most everyone is used to me always being plugged into my iPod, nonchalantly wearing Groucho Marx glasses and pink boas while I work, and being an overall weird duck. Mum always told me to stop acting silly... lol, yeah, ya see how that turned out! :P

My kitchen smells like paradise

Rules of Baking on a Fall Sunday:
1. When a recipe calls for gouda, buy at least four times the amount needed.
2. When your kitchen is strewn with pumpkin carnage, console yourself with candied apples.
3. Always give the cat bits of chicken. Always.
4. Immediately burn all recipes calling for margarine. Flush the ashes down the toilet for good measure.
5. The only good icing is one that involves butter, cream cheese, and copious amounts of powdered sugar.
6. Do lick the beaters, spatulas, and bowls clean for all desserts.
7. Do get icing all over your face as you lick the bowl.
8. There should never be any leftover bacon.
9. Do stop periodically to jot down poem fragments on the backs of gas station receipts.
10. Recipes are more like suggestions, really.
11. And always, ALWAYS sing with all your heart and dance a crazy little dance.

Who in blue blazes is composing the underscore to my life?!

She's a cold-hearted mrow! Look into her eyes...

The face of a ferocious bird killer, off duty
(either that, or she's baiting you):

The last thing poor birdies ever see:

Aaron has found two dead birds in the backyard, one of which O-ren was still batting around. I have no problem with any of this (would be silly to resent a mrow's nature) ... but simply that O-ren is at once a lovey-dovy snuggler who nuzzles my face, neck, and chest... and a ruthless killer who toys with her victims. Interesting commentary on the multiplicity of human/animalistic nature to be found within this snapshot.

And as a completely tangent sidebar - another of my photos is being published. Yeah! I may not be able to paint or sculpt as well as my mind envisions... but a camera is a wonderful cheat, a welcome leveling of the playing field for those of us whose hands will not properly communicate with the brain in order to capture our dreams. Speaking of which... I have GOT to get my butt out of bed before sunrise some weekend so that I can capture the fog rising off the pond/island/field. Every morning I go to work, it captivates me. I already have the filters and other Photoshop adjustments planned out... I know the triptych-ish storyboard arrangement... And a 30-minute photo shoot is all I need... but oh! to sacrifice sleeping till 10:30 on a Saturday morning? sigh... I know I can't procrastinate much longer though; the seasons are working against me.

Phantom Song

HELP! I'm desperately trying to recall a specific song from the late 80's - early 90's, but I haven't heard it in yeeeears and as such, can't remember any lyric snippets, singer, anything.

Was listening to Melissa Etheridge's "I Want to Come Over" on the way home from work, and her voice reminded me of this phantom song.... which oddly enough, I adored as a child and would sing along as I cradled my little black radio in my lap. Odd, I say, because of the nature of the song. Essentially, the woman is driving along in the rain and picks up a young man standing on the side of the road. They have a one-night (maybe multiple-night) stand. The song mostly consists of her telling him that she needed something only he could provide, how great it was, and that if he sees her on the street with her boyfriend, to not be surprised if she acts like she doesn't know him. Or something to that effect. It's annoying the piss out of me that I can't remember this song.... annoying to the point that it is consuming my entire evening type annoying.

Somebody, PLEASE! help me figure out this song!!

Why watch tv when there's the internet?!

Lol, because life's too short not to be wasted on the internet - I found Peet Gelderblom's blog,
Lost in Negative Space (between the lines, beyond the screen, beside the point), and couldn't resist touting its spectacular ability to suck me in and leave me laughing. Embarrassing Movie Posters #15 - need I say more? :)

I need a Hiro (I'm holding out til the end of the night)

When Aaron and I bought our house, one of my first decisions - and I was most adamant about it - was that the tv wouldn't go in the living room. In fact, I don't want a tv anywhere that will too easily suck me in. So upstairs went the tv where you have to make a conscientious decision to watch a specific show. I hate how tvs suck people's lives away, how they drain time that could be spent uh... surfing the internet? lol, yeah, I'll get off my high horse. Anyhoo, I know that I get too easily sucked into tv... I mean - the Discovery and History channels... like quicksand.

In any given week, I watch exactly 3 hours of tv. To these shows I have developed an unhealthy obsession: Heros, My Name Is Earl, Scrubs, The Office, and because it's sandwiched in on Thursday night, 3o Rock. First, let me just state that I am SO pouting right now because Hiro wasn't in tonight's episode... and that is just WRONG. Wrong like eating pickles and Tabasco sauce with Cherry Garcia wrong. The one thing that could make up for no Blue Monkey tonight... and they deny me him! I've been prone to dramatic fits of agony today... and this is one of them. (and yes, you can ask Aaron - there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth)

But singing goofy songs makes me feel better.... too bad I don't speak more than a handful of Hindi... I have no idea what I'm singing, lol But I swear, I'll be the next big Bollywood hit!

Shenanigans

Oh, where to begin?! When celebrating the birthday of Charming Illy, karaoke and craziness must ensue:

--Pirate ship trimmed with pink fur and ribbon...
--Random and frequent butt-grabbing and kissing of coworkers...
--Giggly and completely off-key rendition of Dolly Parton's Nine to Five...
--Birthday Boy trying to sing despite his throng of adoring - but very distracting - groupies who:
-----Threw themselves at the feet of Birthday Boy...
-----Threw their bras at Birthday Boy...
-----Flashed Birthday Boy...
-----Draped their bras on Birthday Boy...

(and no, Mum, that wasn't all just me) lol Course, maybe I should have gotten sloshed... then I'd at least have an excuse for my role crazy shenanigans, lol :D But it was funny, when everyone was heading home, I - the person who'd had 2 beers and 4 glasses of water over a 4-hour period - was the one about whom everyone was worried!

For the above mentioned craziness and every moment in between, I love my coworkers. When I wasn't being a complete goof, chatting with friends, or forcing Howell to dance, I enjoyed just leaning back in my chair and watching the happy faces of some of my favorite people.

Splish Splashing Away

As everyone should know by now, I'm a rain-dancing fool. Since I never watch the news and my sky had been a perfect blue and white Willow pattern, I'd no other way of knowing what was just moments away. Luckily a friend called and announced the impending storm. My response was, of course, to immediately set out on a walk through the neighborhood to await the release.

Standing by the lake, I decide to whip my cell phone out of it's little plastic baggy to capture the only bright break in an other solid gray slate. To bad you can't see the rain drops aimed at my head. It was pouring at this point. :)


Don't know if you can see it, but I also had my iPod in a plastic baggy stuffed in my pocket. So yeah, here's me throwing my arms up, embracing the rain and a beautiful song. And you just know I'm singing away, completely immune to the strange looks from neighbors.





Ok, so the waving hand is lost in translation, leaving me with a phantom limb... but nonetheless -

HIIIIIIIII!!!! :D

Scavenger Hunt

First and foremost - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, REDBLUR!

What started out as a quick grocery shopping trip as our house was being shown quickly turned into a scavenger hunt that took me all over Memphis. 3 Starbucks runs have been made. (A tiramasu recipe that calls for 14 shots LIES! It takes 30.) A 5 minute post office run for 2 cent stamps turns into a 20 minute sojourn which required consolation in the form of Star Wars stamps. The quest for mascarpone cheese took us to The Fresh Market in G'town, then back home - only to discover that we didn't have enough of that either, so off to The Fresh Market on White Station since the 1st store ran out. But first I get the bright idea that I want to check out the Memphis library since I'd never been in... and since Aaron was a helpless passenger in my car of whims, away we went, bumping along Poplar. But no! The Memphis library just isn't far enough from The Fresh Market on White Station, so I take the scenic route to downtown Memphis before swinging back on Union. Oh, and a tiramisu recipe that calls for 24 ladyfingers? All lies - try 40. And technically I need 50% more filling... but I refuse to buy more mascarpone cheese at this point. The good thing about this recipe? I have rum left over... or well, I did, lol.

So what exactly have I done today other than get the shit kicked out of me by a tiramisu recipe? Irritated my husband by continually announcing that the recipe lied again and pointing in the direction of the store/Starbucks. Um... and collapsed on the couch? I have a feeling tonight will find me zonked out in the tub, lol.

Um... yeah

Tonight's post is brought to you by:
- Dido (mostly Hunter and Slide)
- Frou Frou
- St. Vincent
- They Might Be Giants (esp. I am Retarded and Ana Ng)
- U2 (Window in the Skies)
- William Fitzsimmons
- and liberal application of the chicken dance song! :D
oh wait, a late entry - Peter Gabriel

Today was/is... well, interesting. From serious to slap happy, from exhausted to energetic, from quiet contemplation to chatterbox. And many other interesting combinations therein. After lunch with coworkers, I went from nearly falling asleep in my puka to being punch drunk as I shifted into over-tired. I'm just glad people put up with me.

House of Cards, House of Straw

Oh, I ask you - what's life without the drama? I love my family, but what tangled webs they weave. Pride... miscommunication... fear... and good ol' German stubbornness, let's not forget. To hear from such great distances that my family's delicate house of cards is collapsing, that those I love dearest are clawing at each other.... to know that there is such pain, and I am helpless, once again. Useless. Perhaps this house of cards is too big for my bandages this time, but I can't help but think, "If I were there..." (Hmm, this tune sounds familiar, don't you think?) But being thus removed from the immediacy of the idiocy also keeps things relatively objective. Life is so very simple that we have to screw with it until it's as complex as our psychoses. Why won't a bleeding heart heal wounds?

I'm tempted to count how many negatives have popped up recently that could leave me miserable, could drag me back to stay in my old self. But it's unnecessary... for all my emotional zigzagging and roller coastering, it takes very little to make me happy. I accept the zigzags for what they are, knowing that I'll zig out of my zag when I'm ready. There's something so freeing knowing that I can allow myself to feel miserable, knowing that tomorrow I'll be fine again. And despite every problem that bombards me, just knowing that I can feel miserable if I want and still be fine is enough. Being weak is a great strength. Oh, I am tired... hello, pillow.