so there you have it, whatever "it" is...

I finally realized that it is not my job to shoulder all of the responsibility for this situation. I feel much better with this decision - it rings true, unlike previously when I shouldered all of the blame. However, now Aaron has to take responsibility for his part... and I feel terrible for making him sad. In many ways, it was much easier to internalize the blame because then Aaron could go about safe and unharmed.

... He doesn't appreciate me airing this dirty laundry, I'm sure... guess I should stop. I do want to say that, despite all of my ranting, raving, and moping, are relationship is just fine. Everybody has rocks, etc.... I'm just very analytic and alverbose.

I know he's not in the greatest of moods right now... but I'm actually feeling pretty good. I know I've come to the right conclusion... and that's just a great feeling. Aaron and I have our issues to work out.... but, God, I love him. Every time we get through an issue, I'm just overwhelmed with that... kinda like a mini falling in love again. Sounds so cheesy. Oh well, I love cheese. I miss him so much; it's pathetic. You'd think we've been apart for a year or something, instead of just 1 month.

Wow, only 1 month? Seems like at least 2-3. Seems like another 2-3 before I can move down there, instead of just 2 weeks.

And yeah, honesty, however painful, is always better than deceiption.