Nothing new

Nothing has really changed since my last post, but I couldn't stand the first blog being so depressing. I've applied for a few more jobs, a one of which I'm qualified for, two I'm not. I figure it can't hurt so what the heck. Fortunately I have some wonderful friends (especially my husband) who are a wonderful support team. I feel bad for them having to try and cheer me up. What can they really say? Not like they can get me a job. No, they're stuck to phrases like "I'm sure you'll get something any day now", etc. Far be it for me to complain about other people caring about me and believing in me... but when everyone is so confident in my impending success, and then I fail... it just makes me feel that much worse. If I'm going to fail, I wish nobody else would have to know about it. I know it's because people care about me, but I hate having to tell people that I've been turned down for yet another job. Like, what's wrong with me that I don't have one? I want someone to admit the truth to me - that yeah, I may not get hired at any school, but that I still have other options, that I won't be completely screwed. I'm tired of unfounded optimism... I want realism with engagable options.

Regardless of whether or not I do get a teaching position somewhere, I would like for Aaron and I to buy a house. I've determined that even if I only substitute for the entire year, if I can make a whopping $800 a month (that roughly equates to subbing in a public school 10 times/month), then we can afford around $1,000 a month for mortgage. But, if we do decide to get a house, I'll probably have to get a part-time evening job or something. I'm going to try and stick to subbing though. I need that exposure in the school systems and to stay around kids. I've been checking out other fields... but if I'm qualified for the job, I don't want it; and if I'm at all interested in the job, I lack either experience or the right degree.

Anyway, that's where I stand right now. Moving in no descernible direction and very grumpy about the whole affair. It's a pity, too; I'm a bloody good teacher. Those schools don't know what they're missing.