Christmas Survey

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper. And in true anal retentive fashion, the lines have to be perfect and as little tape used as possible.

2. Real tree or artificial? Artificial, since my sister and brother-in-law gave Aaron and I their old one. I’d prefer a real tree though. I love the smell; I can pretend I’m in the woods.

3. When do you put up the tree? This year since Aaron and I moved right after Thanksgiving, the tree was “put up” the weekend that we moved… In other words, it went from the attic where it was put together and strung with lights to our dining room where it leaned against the corner. It was officially righted and plugged in about 2 weeks before Christmas, but we never did decorate it.

4. When do you take the tree down? Again, this year is atypical – as soon as possible so I can expedite finding my living room. I’m very positive on the prospects here as the lawn mower and weed eater no longer grace the floor.

5. Do you like eggnog? Not especially. But sufficient quantities of alcohol can make me like anything.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Well… this is a tough one. Christmas presents were usually a low-key affair. The first present that comes to mind is the keyboard I received when I was around 10… but I couldn’t say it was my favorite because, although I wanted one more than anything, I never really got over the guilt of how expensive it was. My first reaction upon opening the package was feeling the bottom drop out of my stomach. So I default to my favorite childhood gift, which was the “Anne of Green Gables” series for my birthday.

7. Do you have a Nativity scene? I have a frosted glass set which was set up this year only because Indiana Jones needed Christmas decorations for the office holiday party.

8. Hardest person to buy for? The little nieces and nephews. Seriously, they have everything under the sun. I wanted to buy them garbage bags.

9. Easiest person to buy for? Ashley – especially this year since she’s (gulp) going to SMSU next year.

10. Worst Christmas Gift you ever received? Gift cards. Wow, nothing says love and forethought than generic plastic cash. Yes, Virginia, you can buy holiday cheer. Hey… why isn’t the next question “Best Christmas Gift you ever received?” ??? Such focus on the negative, humph. My favorite present this year was the homemade coupon from Megan for “playing in the snow and singing with you”. Because the best gifts are always homemade.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail, although this is the first year since I went to college that I haven’t sent any out.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? The Grinch, I guess. After The Christmas Story, of course.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Normally, I start sometime in the summer. But this year? This year it was the weekend before. I blame it on faulty calendars that lie and make you think you have more time than you really have.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? A Christmas present, no; wedding present, yes. Bad Christmas presents are stored indefinitely until my willpower and fortitude dissolve and my conscience force me to use it.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Sausage and cheese balls, sausage stars, peanut brittle, 7-layer salad…. All things fattening and delicious. I feel absolutely no guilt, only sad that I have to ever leave the comfort of a kitchen warmed by baking.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Solid strands of individual colors, mixed. Blue is a default strand color.

17. Favorite Christmas song? O Holy Night even (especially?) when Cartman’s singing.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Define “home” …

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Jerky, chili, Salisbury steak….

20 .Angel on the tree top or a star? Angel, although I’ll never forget the ugly little tin star with a hole in the center for a light that was always on the Christmas tree before the divorce. If I didn’t love it so much, I’d hate it.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas Eve. It’s your reward for surviving the children’s Christmas service.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Seeing the bloodied and mangled corpse of Christmas spirit (but always with a symmetrical bow on its head) really raises my ire. Not just the obvious lack of good will toward man or the frenzied bustle of credit cards, but the temper tantrums that ensue when opening 7/10 presents Christmas Eve isn’t enough or the necessity to perfectly coordinate family time.

23. What is the "corniest" family tradition that you have or miss? I don’t really think that any of them are corny, but I do wish that my family wouldn’t think that playing pitch is mandatory for all family gatherings. There are medieval tortures… and then there is obligatory pitch playing until the point of exhaustion. The tradition that I miss, on the other hand, is having everyone together and speaking to each other.

24. Ugliest Christmas decor ever invented? Frosted Christmas trees.

25. Which looks best theme or homey trees? C’mon, “homey” is a theme. Now with that being said, as much as I love homey, it’s only best if it’s your own tree. Somebody else’s glue-and-glitter trees just annoy me. Well done themed trees are an art form in and of themselves.

26. Gingerbread or sugar cookies? Sugar cookies, if peanut butter cookies or peanut brittle can not be found.

27. Do you like Fruitcake? Honestly, can’t say as I’ve ever eaten it. I think I’ve only ever seen two.

I'm a Vowel AND a Battery - WOO!

Strange conversations can be heard in an office after hours:
e: So Erin, how are you doing?
e²: Oh, not too badly. Yourself?
e: Yeah, the same.
e²: No kidding? You know, you probably shouldn't be talking to yourself.
e: So they say, but I heard that talking to yourself is perfectly normal and perfectly sane.
e²: Unless you...
e: Exactly, unless you answer yourself.
e²: Wow, you're rude! You even interrupt yourself.
e: Whatever. Shouldn't you be working already? I really don't want to stay much later if there's only you for company.
e²: Tell me about it! I know exactly how you feel. If you think you have it rough, you should try being in my shoes.
e: Ugh, you're in heels. Nasty toe pinching, arch aching, e-vile shoes that throw your back out of alignment.
e²: Don't blame me! You're the one who put them on your feet.
e: Oh sure, how is it that they always become my feet and my fault when they hurt... but your feet when they're getting a massage?
...
e: No response, huh? Exactly. Anyway, you can catch your own ride home, but I'm heading out.
...
...
e²: (Stupid head)
e: I heard that!

14 Days Till Chri... WHAT?!

Now, I know I have to keep this blog PC (although I'd rather keep it Mac) - so let me paraphrase what I said when I discovered, just seconds ago, that THIS Friday is the Friday before Christmas and that I have done absolutely NO Christmas shopping as of yet:

*@#$ %^&* *^%$ oh my #@!@ #$%^ - &*(* &^% &$#@!!!

I swear I thought I had another full week. Again, I repeat: *@#$ %^&* *^%$ oh my #@!@ #$%^ - &*(* &^% &$#@!!! So... if you get a box with a picture of what I'm getting you, consider yourself lucky. At least I thought of you in time to Amazon.com your gift. :D

And with that out of the way, I must give public acknowledgment to Aaron. For if it were not for him, I would certainly starve. Getting home around 8pm after a day of eating only 1/4 a hamburger and 6 crackers with (very lovely) humus, you'd think I'd be hungry. Typical Erin fashion, dinner was forgotten; I'd traded food for thoughts yet again. But lo, a star did appear in the west and come to rest upon Salisbury steak and vegitibbly goodness.

The Coolest Person You Could Ever Meet

Because I could not love her more if I tried.
Because "sister" is spelled N-I-E-C-E.
Because I only let Jeanette claim her for taxes.
Because she's absolutely right - a handwritten letter is more personal than a typed letter.
Because her letter and beautiful pictures brought a smile to my face, a jump in my step, and a laugh in my belly.

Sempre, Sempre

When you are feeling under the weather, there are certain universal truths. One is burrowing into the covers and only occasionally peaking out to see how much of the morning has gone by. Another is the consumption of your favorite broth-based soup. And no less necessary is calling your mummsy.

This morning I at least got 2 out of 3. In my inability to properly read labels, I opened a cream-based soup, tentatively tried a nibble, and promptly gave the rest to O-ren. What I really want is hot and sour soup, and if somebody would be so kind as to fetch that for me, I'd be much obliged.

So I called mi momisita from the comforts of an ocean of warm covers. And like so many of our conversations, she waxes reminiscent on her favorite childhood Erin stories. (And although this picture is of me in 7th grade, it will have to suffice... I can't find any younger pictures of me right now.)

When you were still very young and in your car seat, you would always ask why-questions. We'd be driving into Jeff, and each why-question would build off the next until I couldn't answer them anymore. We'd often end up at the library in order to find answers that could satisfy you. You kept this up until you were probably about 11, and I think you only stopped then because I couldn't answer you anymore. But you were never satisfied having a simple answer; you always kept pushing until you understood it for yourself.

I remember when you started Kindergarten and I met Ms. Bunselmeyer for the first parent-teacher conference. She said that you wouldn't answer a question unless you were certain you were correct and that because she hadn't seen you make a mistake yet, she was worried how you would deal with that.

And listening to Mum tell me this story makes me think about my current M.O. I look at every corner of my life and find that I haven't changed at all, except to perhaps become more demanding of myself. What would Ms. Bunselmeyer say if she knew how I'm dealing with my inability to be perfect?

Goopity, Goop, Goop, Goopums (But I don't like goop!)

Who knows where that mysterious red tube of former shoe gluing glory has gone...
...and who cares?! Because ladies and gentlemen, I found the amazing Amazing Goop! That's right, folks. It's amazing AND it's goop! What a great word that is. Let's all say it together, shall we?

goop

GOOP!

goooooooop

goopgoopgoopgoop

Wasn't that just amazing? Feel free to say this lovely word while gooping your fingers together and scratching your nose! Or glop some on the floor and watch the cat goop it between her toes! (Oooo, I rhyme!) Your gooping fun will never end when your shoes you try to mend!

Bullets to the Brain

I can't:
- find my shoe glue.
- abandon my favorite pair of shoes to the trashcan for a new pair. (I also technically need 3 other new pairs to replace others that are also on their supposed death beds.)
- allow my insecurities to dictate how I view and interact with others.
- seem to stop though.
- continue to justify my actions.
- help but adore O-ren so much that I'm about ready to erect a gigantic silver monument of her in some small remote village.
- stop the songs in my head.
- stop the songs in my head from leaking out.
- carry a tune to save my life unless I'm belting it out.
- stop my mind from dwelling on the unobtainable.
- stop my heart from dwelling on the unobtainable.
- just take what I want b/c it's called kidnapping and maybe kinda sorta slightly illegal.
- do somebody else's job, but I would if I only knew how and if it meant getting the job done properly.

I am:
- needy.
- sorry.
- convinced that my fundamental emotions can be neither created nor destroyed.
still completely clueless on how to deal with those emotions.
- neither simple nor complex.
- in neither agreement nor contradiction with myself.
- still far too over-analytical.
- having way too much fun watching O-ren perform high-speed drive-by battings of the bits of my leftover Bruschetta chicken I gave her. (It is apparently a yellow-level security threat.)
- spoiling that cat, I know... I know.
- jealous.
- not taking control of aspects of my life.
- not sure if I want to if it means forfeiting what I want.
- emotional toxic waste and to be avoided at all costs.
- not sure if I will go home for Christmas.
- desperately in need of several doctors appointments.
- not sure of my rationale for one of those appointments.
- currently singing along with True Men to Kirksville Paradise. (Tell me, why are we so blind to see that the 'Ville is where we need to be?)
- lonely.
- pathetically seeking connection in a frigid and isolating medium.
- not able to escape reality despite the frequent and desperate attempts.
- not cleaning the litter box though I should be.

What's better than being super sized?

Simpson-ized, of course!





Yes, this is, in fact, what I do with my free time. :D tee hee. I Simpson-ize O-ren and myself. Now I have proof that my skin is as jaundiced as a Simpsons character







Speaking of that sexy feline, she snuggled up for a nap to help me deal with the crappy days that were last Saturday and Sunday. Could she BE any more snuggable? I think not!


But WOW - I look so much like Dad here! Look at those Dumbo-esque Werner ears and the jaw line that's been attacked by a wood router with a double roundover bit! When did that happen? And why no Mom 'n' Goscha elvin features?

Not in Nottingham

Truly, it has been a topsy turvy day. (Listen, and Clopin will tell you. It is a tale, a tale of a man and a monster.)

The Move... The Unpacking... The Learning to Block Boxes Out of My Reality Set

Woo! It's 9pm and I'm able to call it quits for the day! I even got a whopping 4 boxes unpacked, lol. I've been promising pictures of the apartment for awhile, so with my few remaining seconds of consciousness, let me share a few. Although I know where my camera is, I have no idea where the connector cable is to transfer them to my Mac. Ergo, camera phone... sucky though it may be.

This view from one of the many trips down 385 is much nicer than last Weds. night's. I got to test out my driving skills on a Nonconnahbahn obstacle course comprised of my furniture.

Welcome to Casa de Buck. Boxes on the right are headed to Redblur's in the morning. They are hiding the lawnmower and weed eater. hehe. You can, however, see O-ren sitting with Aaron as he reads and tries to get over his cold.

To the left of the living room picture, you can enter the dining room here. At least, there's a dining room somewhere under the boxes of books and shtuff that I have yet to identify. There in the back is the behemoth of a china hutch that has effectively broken the backs of two men. See that door in the back? Walk with me into the kitchen...

And I'm so glad you came with me! You can't see all the boxes on the fridge, washer, and dryer just off of this picture on the right, but I think I almost have enough boxes in sight to properly convey the sense of disarray here. Ok, so those are the three main rooms. I'm not showing you my bedroom... although I assure you it's just as box-filled and messy.

But I just have to show you the spare bedroom, well... actually this is about half of the spare bedroom. Even if I panned out and captured the other side of the room, you wouldn't be able to see past another bookcase that's barricading off that side. But yeah, underneath all those pillows on the left is a love seat... and if you're brave enough to wade chest-deep into the boxes in the middle, would you PLEASE bring me any one of the dozen items that I lost in this jungle?!

Work Break! :)

Tee hee. I got to use the word "gargantuan" in my meeting minutes today.

"You know I've always liked that word 'gargantuan,' and I so rarely have an opportunity to use it in a sentence." :D

Correction

Yes, my master! I obey!

Thanks to Redblur's cunning strategery, I'm officially heading out to dinner at her place. :) I'm an unruly individual who obeys no man... but then, a master chief is akin to Chuck Norris. And we all know that Chuck Norris is god. :)

Public Whining

No less than 10 seconds ago, I turned down an invitation to eat a positively scrumptious dinner with Redblur and She-Who-Should-Be-Cloned so that I can continue working on the 50 pages of minutes that I must have complete before my wittle head touches pillow. This is me pouting that it is humanly impossible to finish the 20 pages that remain in time for dinner.

And now my stomach is growling at me. Can't say as I blame it.

Oh, and for those of you out there wondering, Aaron and are officially all moved into the apartment. We currently live in a 2-bedroom, 2-bath storage unit. A lawnmower and weed eater in my living room are not exactly ideal decorations, if that gives you any idea. I have everything I'd ever need... but I have no idea which box it's in and no way to access that box even if I did.

But underneath the whining and serious need for sleep (and homemade chutney), did you know that I'm actually happy? lol