Bullets to the Brain

I can't:
- find my shoe glue.
- abandon my favorite pair of shoes to the trashcan for a new pair. (I also technically need 3 other new pairs to replace others that are also on their supposed death beds.)
- allow my insecurities to dictate how I view and interact with others.
- seem to stop though.
- continue to justify my actions.
- help but adore O-ren so much that I'm about ready to erect a gigantic silver monument of her in some small remote village.
- stop the songs in my head.
- stop the songs in my head from leaking out.
- carry a tune to save my life unless I'm belting it out.
- stop my mind from dwelling on the unobtainable.
- stop my heart from dwelling on the unobtainable.
- just take what I want b/c it's called kidnapping and maybe kinda sorta slightly illegal.
- do somebody else's job, but I would if I only knew how and if it meant getting the job done properly.

I am:
- needy.
- sorry.
- convinced that my fundamental emotions can be neither created nor destroyed.
still completely clueless on how to deal with those emotions.
- neither simple nor complex.
- in neither agreement nor contradiction with myself.
- still far too over-analytical.
- having way too much fun watching O-ren perform high-speed drive-by battings of the bits of my leftover Bruschetta chicken I gave her. (It is apparently a yellow-level security threat.)
- spoiling that cat, I know... I know.
- jealous.
- not taking control of aspects of my life.
- not sure if I want to if it means forfeiting what I want.
- emotional toxic waste and to be avoided at all costs.
- not sure if I will go home for Christmas.
- desperately in need of several doctors appointments.
- not sure of my rationale for one of those appointments.
- currently singing along with True Men to Kirksville Paradise. (Tell me, why are we so blind to see that the 'Ville is where we need to be?)
- lonely.
- pathetically seeking connection in a frigid and isolating medium.
- not able to escape reality despite the frequent and desperate attempts.
- not cleaning the litter box though I should be.