House of Straw
Normally when I get these postcard notices, I pitch them w/o a second glance. How strange to find your own house running amok through the postal service and then in all your neighbors' living rooms and trash cans!
And look - it's our living room! All boring and beiged out because by the time I got around to being ready to paint, we'd decided to sell. Weirder yet is going online and browsing your own home...
I really hope that I can get out of this house soon. So much more than is necessary. All this time, I thought I wanted that picture of success. But now that I have it, I realize how empty it is. If I had listened to myself a year ago, I think I already knew it then. But, this was what I was supposed to want, right? Aaron and I don't technically need to sell the house, although losing his job was the catalyst, my excuse. After the shock of his announcement, my first thought was of selling - I was happy! Go figure, me not having the correct emotion, lol.
I dropped into a conversation last night; I think I said all of two lines. The discussion centered on the starving artist selling out, on the necessity of money as security for food, shelter, etc. As I listened to the conversation, the whole precept irritated me. I had little desire to say much of anything. My opinions are usually invalidated by others, so why bother. I had no desire to banter words. I have no problem with an artist starving or selling out. I'm personally not a fan of slapdash art created for a paycheck just because it usually lacks depth. But I recognize that as my personal taste - as to anything further, who am I to judge? If the artist wants to starve, let him. If he wants to eat, let him. And if others enjoy Blue Puppy, let them, I'm happy for them even if I don't share in it. (I just want the mossy green landscapes) I said nothing on this thread.
The conversation then turned to financial brackets and being satisfied in any of them. At this point I ventured a comment and was immediately slapped down. My mistake, I'll keep my mouth shut. I honestly didn't disagree so much with what was being said at this point - that once you achieve one bracket, you don't see how you could ever go back and now crave the next bracket. Lovely vicious cycle and all that.
The question is at what level can you be satisfied? Or, at what level should you be satisfied? What are your priorities? I have no desire to be a starving artist; I'm too practical and realistic for that. I appreciate architecture, luxury cars, extended travel at a whim, and adding to my collections of stuff, but I don't want any of that to control me. I want enough money to be able to do what I want, more or less when I want - but the key is knowing what you truly want! The one comment I ventured was that I grew up dirt poor and was happy. Granted, I didn't even get to finish that thought before being put in my place... that person negated my comment by saying that they had grown up on food stamps, so what did I know? It's not whoever was poorer wins, (although being on food stamps is hardly proof of anything if you had money for swimming lessons and everything else) No, it's not about the amount of money, it's the outlook. My family has never had much money, and although we were aware of it, we never lacked for happiness. I grew up a dryad; my friends were imaginary; my joys were the woods, the creek, and the kitchen table where I was in heaven if I had a scissors, crayons, and glue. Although there was a lot of pain in my childhood, I would never change the fact that we were lower working class.
Anyhoo, there's nothing inherently wrong with having money, nor is there anything inherently wrong with not... it's all in your precepts. So tell me, what do you need to be happy? What securities do you buy to ward off your fears?
And look - it's our living room! All boring and beiged out because by the time I got around to being ready to paint, we'd decided to sell. Weirder yet is going online and browsing your own home...
I really hope that I can get out of this house soon. So much more than is necessary. All this time, I thought I wanted that picture of success. But now that I have it, I realize how empty it is. If I had listened to myself a year ago, I think I already knew it then. But, this was what I was supposed to want, right? Aaron and I don't technically need to sell the house, although losing his job was the catalyst, my excuse. After the shock of his announcement, my first thought was of selling - I was happy! Go figure, me not having the correct emotion, lol.I dropped into a conversation last night; I think I said all of two lines. The discussion centered on the starving artist selling out, on the necessity of money as security for food, shelter, etc. As I listened to the conversation, the whole precept irritated me. I had little desire to say much of anything. My opinions are usually invalidated by others, so why bother. I had no desire to banter words. I have no problem with an artist starving or selling out. I'm personally not a fan of slapdash art created for a paycheck just because it usually lacks depth. But I recognize that as my personal taste - as to anything further, who am I to judge? If the artist wants to starve, let him. If he wants to eat, let him. And if others enjoy Blue Puppy, let them, I'm happy for them even if I don't share in it. (I just want the mossy green landscapes) I said nothing on this thread.
The conversation then turned to financial brackets and being satisfied in any of them. At this point I ventured a comment and was immediately slapped down. My mistake, I'll keep my mouth shut. I honestly didn't disagree so much with what was being said at this point - that once you achieve one bracket, you don't see how you could ever go back and now crave the next bracket. Lovely vicious cycle and all that.
The question is at what level can you be satisfied? Or, at what level should you be satisfied? What are your priorities? I have no desire to be a starving artist; I'm too practical and realistic for that. I appreciate architecture, luxury cars, extended travel at a whim, and adding to my collections of stuff, but I don't want any of that to control me. I want enough money to be able to do what I want, more or less when I want - but the key is knowing what you truly want! The one comment I ventured was that I grew up dirt poor and was happy. Granted, I didn't even get to finish that thought before being put in my place... that person negated my comment by saying that they had grown up on food stamps, so what did I know? It's not whoever was poorer wins, (although being on food stamps is hardly proof of anything if you had money for swimming lessons and everything else) No, it's not about the amount of money, it's the outlook. My family has never had much money, and although we were aware of it, we never lacked for happiness. I grew up a dryad; my friends were imaginary; my joys were the woods, the creek, and the kitchen table where I was in heaven if I had a scissors, crayons, and glue. Although there was a lot of pain in my childhood, I would never change the fact that we were lower working class.
Anyhoo, there's nothing inherently wrong with having money, nor is there anything inherently wrong with not... it's all in your precepts. So tell me, what do you need to be happy? What securities do you buy to ward off your fears?
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