Without Cue Cards

How did I not get the last chapters of this script? Something in the back of my head says I'm supposed to do something, feel a certain way, say a certain thing.

Why, here is a pencil... or perhaps I prefer improv.

Genki de ne!!!

Happy Tuesday, everybo… What’s that you say, it’s Thursday? Oh, go on and tell me another one. No, seriously, the 27^th? What the... Oh hey! That means that Aaron’s flying out to his Dallas interview today! Bonsai, bonsai, bonsai, watashi no danna!

Bugs Bunny - Baton Bunny (1959)

Turn down the volume and ask who conducts the music of your life?

Rain on a Sunny Day

In order to make lemonade, one must have lemons. Luckily, they are on sale.

My father-in-law, Earl... what to say? The details of his deteriorating health are just that, details. I don't wish to be drowned by them, but the flood is difficult to avoid. No, what is important at the moment is the washed out gully that is left behind, this feeling of stark helplessness and sadness. But it seems that every bend in the road throws another obstacle, another chasm, another terrifying unknown.

A call late Friday evening, leaving you with more questions and fears and guilt. Should we have packed a quick bag to arrive home at 3:00 am? Supposed to work an extra shift Saturday, today... money, money, money... is it an excuse not to face what is in Missouri? A way to avoid not feeling helpless and useless?

And just now a call from Laura-Mom. Earl won't be released from the hospital today like they had initially promised. Such volumes spoken in the intakes of each breath like her voice was broken into. Everyone trying to protect everyone else, causing more worry than alleviating. As if the unknown is less frightening than the truth. This last call finally the catalyst to convince Aaron. A few items thrown into a bag, have only to wait for Aaron to get home from this extra shift so that we can begin the 7.5 hour drive. I don't care that we will only have a few waking hours there; I'd carry Aaron forcibly if need be.

What do I choose to see in life today? So many problems, so many lives in turmoil. I have no choice but to throw my hands up and surrender... the trick is choosing what I surrender to.

Starry Eyed

I miss the stars. I miss the stars. I miss the stars.
O-ren and I in the backyard, staring at a sky that has faded in the wash. So few stars... a garish western borealis drowns them all. A third of the stars are deviating from the flight plan. Blink, blink, blink; they mock me.

But I can see my constellation, Cassiopeia. (I'm nothing like the original, thank you very much.) No, I identify with this constellation because it identifies with me - this single constellation is my entire name, nee. E M W And looking at my initials scrawled in the sky centers me.

The pines along the fence are surreal - they glow orange before shifting to magenta and then back to orange again while I watch them. The neighbors' light suddenly assaults me; the trees are back to green. The mood is broken; I preferred them orange.

Tao of Dove

Wise are the ways of the Dove chocolates.
"Temptation is fun... giving in is better."

And wtf... Redblur just shot my bubble puppy!

... I wonder how many limericks I can write before the day is through.

My triptych for today

Fitzgerald and Holiday

Tonight is dedicated to Ella and Billie.
Scroll down to pause my automatic tunefeed... listen to "Strange Fruit".

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Why is it that people immediately look at me when they find a rubber horsefly in their pistachios or at the bottom of the coffee pot? Really now, it can’t be the Groucho glasses; they make me look distinguished – a veritable Julius Henry, Jr. The sheep and horse finger puppets? Surely not! They are friendly, unlike Redblur’s kamikaze-bun puppet. And you can’t blame my SCIDs bubble puppy. How could that zeiseh punim ever incite mischief? (But help, bubble puppy needs a name before the killer horsefly eats him!!!)

Today I have learned that:

• the Dollar Store never gets old; happiness is down every aisle, especially when you're with friends who get as excited over squishy brains and pirate gear as you.
• perfecting office feng sui is an excellent excuse to crawl around in other people’s pukas.
• RyRy looks adorable in red pigtails; Redblur and I have the footage to prove it.

Now, everyone! Go forth and listen to the Garden State soundtrack while laughing at Groucho Marx, Mae West, and Oscar Wilde quotes even though you’ve read them all umpteen times before.

Meth Lab Hoedown

Refrain:

Oooh, there’s a meth lab on my street!

There’s a meth lab on my street!

A box of wine while ya watch‘em is divine

There’s a meth lab on my street!

Hookers and vagrants may come and go,

But the repo man, he beats them all.

Cookin’ and itchin’ and rakin’ in dough

Until the cops take in the haul.

Refrain:

Oooh, there’s a meth lab on my street!

There’s a meth lab on my street!

A box of wine while ya watch‘em is divine

There’s a meth lab on my street!

The Cooper Young Fest is mighty fun,

For buying cast iron and glazed green men.

But for action, my street can’t be outdone.

Meth labs are far better than an opium den!

Refrain:

Oooh, there’s a meth lab on my street!

There’s a meth lab on my street!

A box of wine while ya watch‘em is divine

There’s a meth lab on my street!

Somewhere between emerald and jade

I made another buddy today – the other office custodian (I’m already buddies with the first – I snared him with the cunning use of candy). When the new custodian came by, I shared the music to which I was listening at the time (The Fray and The Cure) and got some recommendations for good blues/jazz which I sorely need. I lost the majority of my collection some time ago and, as the cds were burned by a friend and not labeled, I never knew to what/whom I was listening. There’s always a room for a little more soul in my life.

There is much that could be said; there is little that needs be. After a whirlwind week with enough highs and lows to make me think I’m a meth addict, I’m left empathetic and thoughtful. The clichéd adage, “The world’s not fair,” comes to mind once again, but when my analytical gears come to a rest, I am left with equanimity and a full heart. I simply like to think that I am perceptive and honest enough to see all sides for what they are and to accept each equally. As to this week, I am glad to see negative events bring out the positive; I am inundated in examples. I decorate this kaleidoscopic room with impressionist paintings of each to the soft notes of cello and viola that float in like a breeze. Somewhere between the shades of unworked emerald and jade, I watch each moment whirl and undulate as invisible arms envelope me within the nest of a soft tattered blanket. Much could be said; little needs be.

Cause & Effect

Cause: Indiana Jones’ spectacular performance in “Even a Blind Squirrel Can Sometimes Find a Nut”

Effect: Instantaneous full-body laughter that makes it necessary to clap both hands over your mouth in a futile attempt to not disturb puka neighbors

Cause: One too many iced chai lattes

Effect: Mean Gene Employee: e, are you married?

e: Huh? Am I what? Um, yes.

Mean Gene Employee: I’ll have to go tell my manager that.

Memories of a Great Snuggle Partner

Thanks to everyone for your hugs and support, even when I'm distancing myself... especially when I'm distancing myself. A few of my favorite Chyna photos are collected here.

Chickity Chyna

It’s difficult to get ready in the morning when tears wash off make-up faster than you can apply it. In the last few days, I’ve shed plenty of tears, but then I cry easily. That I should be crying this morning is really no big surprise… but in this case, the source was not watching Zach Braff yelling from the top of construction equipment into an infinite abyss. Chyna’s health took a sharp decline last night; I found her in my side of the closet, lower half immobilized, fur matted in urine, crying in her broken mrower when she saw me. That I had to come in to work today pisses me off considerably… and leaves me feeling even guiltier and miserable-er. Because I slept in this morning, allotting absolutely no extraneous time, I couldn’t lay down on the closet floor by her for a few moments. I couldn’t even handle getting ready in the bathroom next to her. I had to isolate myself in the other downstairs bathroom where she could not hear me and start crying again. The last thing I wanted was to have to act like a heartless bastard. …She’s still alone now, abandoned, until Aaron or I can get off work early. …. sigh …. Thank goodness for Simon & Garfunkel; they're helping me out today.

Dr. Bob would be proud

Prescription for After-Lunch Sleepies: 2-3 Pixie Stix, taken sublingually. For maximum effectiveness, take with bottle of Mountain Dew. In case of power failure, consult shredded paper bean bag.

Bonsai, Bonsai, Bonsai!!

Everyone wish Aaron luck on his interview tomorrow! He's currently in Johnson City, TN... all of 7.5 hours away (which you can see better if you click of the left window). The right picture is a fun capture as Aaron showed me the bathroom of his hotel room. And then we got goofy, lol, as you can in the bottom picture. This is Aaron sneaking up on me. :) He's got a busy schedule tomorrow and won't get back home until it's bed time. Meanwhile, he's adjusting to being an hour ahead. And by the time he's adjusted, he'll be driving back.
It's weird having the house all to myself... although O-ren has done a great job of snuggling today... perhaps a little too snuggly as she massaged my silk kimono a little too well. Ah well, she's worth it.

A few of my favorite things

Sing with me now!
Forgive the poor video quality...

Just Call Me "King Itchy"

It's been how long since I posted anything? What can this mean? Apocalypse, surely, cuz I know I don't have a life.

Anyhoo. I brought home a few souvenirs from the trip to Missouri. Two books, a wind chime, an oven mitt (all hand-me-downs) ... and 60+ chigger bites. Let me enumerate, please; I want to share my itchy agony.

FIFTEEN on my left shoulder blade.
EIGHT dispersed in my scalp.
SIX on my right hand.
FIVE in the nether regions. (the pervs)
FIVE on my left hand.
FIVE on the small of my back.
THREE under my left armpit.
THREE on my neck.
TWO behind my right ear.
TWO under my right armpit.
ONE behind my left ear.
ONE on my right cheek.
ONE under my right bra strap.
ONE on my right foot.
ONE in the hairline on my forehead.

And was it worth it? ABSOLUTELY. I got to enjoy the farm (hauling wood) with Dad and my brother's family... and check out the rustic cabin my niece, nephew, and I built!